I just realized I’d been misusing a popular phrase. Nothing makes me cringe more than the misuse of language, especially when the evil-doer is, well, me. That’s a lie. Some things make me cringe more. Boogery children, for example. Anything with raisins baked into it is also pretty cringe-worthy. Not the point.
“For all intensive purposes.” I say that phrase about 2 times a day. I’m fairly certain I’ve written it in multiple entries. I’m pretty sure it’s tattooed somewhere on my body.
This is actually nonsense. The real phrase is “For all intents and purposes,” which brings to mind another popular saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I meant to sound intelligent. I really did. Instead I went to literary Hades, where every blogger can easily end up when we stop making sense and start ‘tweeting’ ourselves to death.
I realize that I write more often than most (except ShepSwitzer), and that most of you are blind to these trivial misgivings of mine, but I’m not. Reader, I feel like I owe it to you to come clean. I’m sort of sorry. Really. Kinda.
Words I frequently misspell:
See? Not exactly perfect at this Englishing thing. WHICH, is why I’m super thankful that the Internets have a spellcheck. Why doesn’t it have a ‘You shouldn’t use that phrase ‘cause you sound like an idiot’ check?
I wish more of my facebook friends had that.
Lately I’ve been receiving “adds” from dozens of Lewis Central alumni (you know who you are), which makes me feel gossiped about. I do not mind being gossiped about (in fact, I encourage it), but if you’re going to go to all the trouble to facebook stalk me, at least comment on how pretty I got since high school. Or leave a ‘Heyo!’ on one of my notes. Otherwise I will promptly delete you within seven working days.
I really think it’s weird to add some one on this lovely social networking site, search through all of her photos, binge-read all of her notes, gawk at her beauty, and then—zip. Does it make you look cool to have 679 friends that don’t really remember you? Come on. Really?
Alright, Team. I’m off to brave the storm. Christmas, not the weather.
Also, I’m married now, so if you want to send gifts, I accept payment in the form of vodka, cranberry juice, and limes.