Getting it Together.

Big news. HUGE news. Bigger than the Biggest Losers were when they were still big!

….Ready for this?

I finished everything on my to-do list for the first time in my entire life.

As soon as I crossed off that final thing, which was “send off invitations,” I sat there for a second, dumbfounded. What should I do? This had never happened before. And trust me, I’ve been making to-do lists since I was born. I waited. I listened. I watched.

Luckily, there wasn’t a nuclear meltdown and the world didn’t end, which is what I thought would happen when something so out-of-the-ordinary occurred. I’m seriously waiting for a naked clown to descend from the ceiling and cut my head off. That’s probably why I never finished a to-do list before. I didn’t want to put the universe out of alignment. Then I noticed something else: I was sleeping better. My jeans fit better. I had more friends, more money, and fewer dishes in my sink. I couldn’t think of anything I was stressed out about, and I had nothing in front of me but free time and choices.

Wait, is being responsible, [gulp] good for you? Have I broken the cycle of creating failures for myself?


Back in the day, I knew a girl who made a list of which hairstyles she would wear each day of  the week, for planning purposes.

I do think it’s good to have a back-up plan, or an “OH, SHIT” Factor (as my sister calls it).  You wake up and realize you’ve overslept, and class/work/party/whatever starts in 15 minutes. What do you do?

Some people refer to their planned-hairstyle list and putz around being all perfect, thus making their employer/friends/whoever wait for their high-maintenance asses.

I exclaim, “Oh shit!” and throw on my back-up outfit: Dress, leggings, boots, necklace. If I haven’t showered, I put baby-powder in my hair, slap on some mascara, lip gloss, quick-gargle mouthwash, GO. Grab a banana on the way and I’m out. Five minutes, and it looks like I tried.

You gotta own what you’ve got. If you’re spending more than 5 minutes on your makeup, you’re wearing too much. Be like Evo, who, if the bras are still in the wash, goes without. “F*ck it,” can be your new mantra, “This is how I look.”

“Fire is hot EVERY time.”


2 thoughts on “Getting it Together.

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