Seven Things

Seven Things You May Not Know About Me, Cassie Schultz, the High Chief of this blog.

1.I peed my pants a lot as a child. Like, a lot. During the movie 101 Dalmations, my first-grade teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom, and I pissed myself, and I had to sit there in wet pee-pants while Cruella Deville tried to torture puppies. As a result, I do not care for that movie, and I joined PETA. No I didn’t.

2.Peanut butter tastes good on everything. I often cook with it instead of using oil or butter. My favorite breakfast is an over-easy egg with rye toast and peanut butter. I learned about this while living with someone who worked out a bunch and wanted to get all of his protein in at once. He never knew how valuable his meat-headedness would be to me.

3.My most embarrassing moment is the time I didn’t realize that guy’s lisp was real, so when I repeated it back to him, he thought I was the biggest bitch on the planet. I have a lot of S’s in my name. I really thought he was doing it on purpose.

4.I would go to the movies every day if that were feasible. The cinema is one of my favorite places. I like everything about it, namely the fact that I can bring a flask, but also the sticky floors and surround-sound. Most people don’t like going to movies with me because I get really into it.

5.This bitch (yours truly) is incredibly good at nail art. I often want to join the ranks of the nice little ladies at the mall and show them how impressive my work is, but I never do that. I guess having tiny hands could be a real asset, but unfortunately I was born in the wrong country.

6.I don’t care if you like me, as long as I’m thinner than you. Otherwise I feel rejected, and I’ll eat nothing but ice cubes for three weeks because I want us to share clothes.

7. You will not see me in sweat pants in public. Or, ever, really. I do wear leggin’s often, but I maintain the belief that one should always try to look nice, especially around people who are older or much younger than you. Otherwise, the message you’re sending to the world is “I don’t care about _____” (myself, you, what you think of me, making a good impression, minding my manners, teaching you how to be a lady, etc). As you know, Cassie Cares, and the easiest way to demonstrate this is to wipe off last night’s eyeliner… and brush your teeth for Christ’s sake.

[Please note, what you wear in your own home doesn’t matter. I just hold myself to this impossibly high standard. I don’t want you people thinking you can’t wear your comfies around me.]

Now, tell me something unique about you, or, if you’re a blogger, write seven things on your own.


“Do it again. Is my ‘stache in the middle?”

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One thought on “Seven Things

  1. Laura

    When I was in first grade I had this friend tell me about Bloody Mary. She convinced me that she was real, and it scared me to death. This person that convinced me of this was also younger than me. My parent’s tried to show me it wasn’t real by going into the bathroom with the light off and saying her name. I was so scared they would die in that bathroom. This person was you. I doubt you remember, but yep, you convinced me Bloody Mary was real. Thanks. haha


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