The other night, I was playing our new Wii fit, and I found out that I am 44 years old, due wholly to the fact that I cannot balance. “Do you fall down a lot?” Wii asked. I didn’t know Wii was so sassy. But yes, I do fall down a lot.
I also run into doorknobs at least twice a day. My hips are permanently bruised. If I ever needed to measure a door for knob placement, I would just lean against it and say, “Hip height seems to be the standard.”
So, in the middle of finding that I’m 20 years older than I thought, tornado sirens started blaring. Of course, like any human since the beginning of time, my first action was to go outside and look at the sky. “Pfft,” I said, citing my knowledge from the 1996 box-office hit Twister, (and some Lewis Central tornado drills) “There’s not even a wall cloud.”
The sky was looking a little green though, and when the birds stopped chirping (classic movie warning), Z, Moxie, and I rushed downstairs, bottle of wine in tow.
I had about a minute to pack an emergency bag, so I grabbed what I deemed most important at the time.
People always ask you that question during team-building shit. It’s a real “Get-to-know-ya” exercise. “What would you grab with only a minute to spare?”
Everyone always says they’d grab their jewelry, their photos, their birth certificates. Love letters (should you be lucky enough to have received some), maybe a few electronics. Cash.
Here’s what I actually grabbed (after the wine):
- My super sweet backpack that I just bought at Urban.
- All of my tie-dyed stuff.
- Clean underwear.
- My lucky cardigan.
- Laptop, cell phone.
- Closed-toed shoes (so I could walk through the rubble).
What does this say about me?
Well, I’m 44, I’m practical, but I like to party.
We wined-and-facebooked for about an hour before we learned that there never was a tornado threat. Just wind. False alarm. I’m sure anyone who lived downtown thought there was an air raid. CWS people and Jackson Street dwellers alike probably hated their ears for a few hours.
Me? I sipped Z’s Tempranillo while my dog rested on my tie-dye shirts.
“You’ve got to do an awful lot to get kicked out of the Underwood.”