If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

Making the details of my life public is a risk, one I take knowing that strangers are going to know things about me that I forget I’ve written. Knowing that my family will see that I’m not very wholesome sometimes. Knowing that all of the words I publish lead to a caricature of myself that isn’t always true.

(Except the whole “Buy me booze” thing.  That part is true. Keep doing that.)

I knew and experienced this long before I started blogging about cancer, so I wasn’t surprised by the wide spectrum of reactions.  The majority of messages I’ve received on the topic have been overwhelmingly thoughtful and kind. I’m touched by the outpour of support and encouragement. I have been moved to tears on so many occasions by the kindness of strangers, and really, people who cared a lot more than I realized.

Most people are essentially good, but this blog is not about them.

This blog is about the other end of the spectrum.

I present to you a collection of the stupidest quotes and reactions people have given to me in the past month, because if you’re stupid enough to say it, I’m going to make fun of you.

“I broke my arm once. I know it’s not the same as cancer, but I get what you’re going through. It’s tough.”*

“You don’t have like, cancer-cancer. You’re not going to lose your hair or anything, right?”*

“Wow. You’re so young. You probably didn’t even know you were poisoning yourself your whole life.”*

Inappropriate boobless jokes from strangers that are so bad I don’t even want to repeat them.

“Wow! You don’t even look sick!”* (Jesus Christ, people, stop saying this to me.)

My mom is a medical professional. Here, [list of remedies that make absolutely no sense]. Because someone I know is a doctor, nurse, or phlebotomist, I obviously have the authority to prescribe these things to you.

“So are you going to die from this?”*

GASP! Complete shock that some aspects of my life are taking a backseat to my healing.

And the award for the most thoughtless thing you could possibly say to someone:

“Does your fiancé care that you’re losing a breast?  Why even get a reconstruction if he doesn’t care?”*


I get it, we’re human. Hopefully, next time someone is facing a difficult situation, and these people don’t know what to say, they’ll just send money and STFU.

*indicates a direct quote




T: You should do something like ‘All proceeds from the wedding go to cancer research’ or something.

C: (squints)

T: You’re right. Let’s not get too hasty here.


One thought on “If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

  1. JoLynn Ingles

    I wish you would write something everyday. I love your writing. If you took all of your posts and created a little book, you could put it on the Barnes and Noble check-out shelf.


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