Thankful for All of It.

I got a phone call from my oncologist and for a second my heart sank, which doesn’t make any sense. They got it all. They even went back in to make sure.

It was just a courtesy call to remind me to make a follow-up appointment, and when I hung up the phone I couldn’t believe how long it’s been. I still can’t. Babies have been made and born in the time since January 6, the day my world completely changed.

The passing of time has always been something I’ve struggled to wrap my mind around, but from that awful moment of my diagnosis I was thankful that time acts how it does. I kept telling myself, “This will be in your rearview before you know it,” and last weekend I had a moment where I realized the nightmare is over. It’s finally fucking over.

I had been at an event chatting with some new friends, and I realized on the drive home that I hadn’t thought or talked about cancer at all. Not once. Not even for a second.

I don’t look or feel like shit anymore. I can do almost everything I couldn’t do after the mastectomy (except reaching high-up heavy things, and bowling, but I’m not mad about it) and I never again have to explain to anyone that I can’t open my own car door.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving and sharing what we’re thankful for, here’s mine:

I’m thankful that I get to be a normal, healthy person.

I can hold my pup. I can run a 5k without stopping. I get to be a young newlywed and bicker with my husband about the best way to hang tapestries.  Our biggest challenge right now is compromising on how strong the coffee should be. I have amazing friends and family who have made me feel incredibly loved through all of it.

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It’s a really, really nice feeling. I am so lucky, and I am so grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone.

Cassie

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